scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
