Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
