literally had 100 drinks last night.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
