i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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