It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
