if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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