So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
its liver damage thursday
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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