The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
