Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
