So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
