i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize