OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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