i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
