I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
meet me or not, i'm out of control
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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