I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
