All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
