on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
