so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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