I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If I die, sorry about rent.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
