I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize