You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
