Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
only if we run a train.
done.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
