Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
