His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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