Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
