I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
