Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
