a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
