Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
