he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
