I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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