I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
