no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
