if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
