There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
