Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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