You can't special order awesome
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
