i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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