Your tits are I can't wait for
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
