I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
