i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
