Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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