Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
