Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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