1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
