i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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