I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
