You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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