I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
