Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
