Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
