belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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