Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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