I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
