I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
