I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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