I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
