i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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