no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
