we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
