I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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