Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
